Friday, March 27, 2009

HEADLINE NEWS: FATHER MISSES WIFE AND DAUGHTER

Sacramento, CA - Local Father, John Thackeray, reported to the news today that he desperately misses his wife Chelsea and their 5 month little girl - Gretel Emeline. When asked by reporters about the location of his "girls", Mr. Thackeray informed the news that his girls were visiting family in Utah.

However, a more startling revelation is that Mr. Thackeray claims he is a victim of serious fraudulent misconduct which includes the tampering of flight reservations.




















Mr. Thackeray reports that the two responsible for his missing family are non other than the dublicitious duo Gramp C ("grampsie") and Grama Mimi a.k.a Barney and Claudia a.k.a the in-outlaws.

"Chels and Gretel were supposed to go to Utah and visit from Saturday to Friday." says, Mr. Thackeray, "I could barely stand to let my little 'gremline' out of my sight for 1 day let alone 7." Mr. Thackeray reports that the night before their flight they were informed that due to "suspect" circumstances, Chelsea and Gretel would instead be flying Friday to the following Saturday, adding on two extra days to their trip. "I was heartbroken when I heard the news", claims a sobbing Mr. Thackeray. "I was tempted not to let my munchkin go."



















When asked how he uncovered the fraud behind the reservation transaction, Mr. Thackeray told reporters, "It didn't require a degree in rocket science. I was told that Chels and the babe couldn't fly to Utah on Saturday because it would be too expensive so they would have to fly out instead on Friday. Then they told me that Chels and the babe couldn't fly back home to Sacramento on Friday because it would be too expensive so they would instead have to fly home on Saturday... hmm.. suspicious? I think so!"

Finally when asked if Mr. Thackeray would file charges and bring a suit against the two for their criminal behavior he responded by saying, "No... not in a million years! I am grateful that my little girl has such loving grandparents that really care about her. I know they would do anything for her. Gretel is really lucky to have two great sets of grandparents that really love her." In closing, Mr. Thackeray remarked, "Enjoy it Craiger and Mimi - Because it's not going to happen again for a looooong time!

Gwennie Gumpdrops reporting for the the Gretel Gazette










8 comments:

Unknown said...

Johnny- You "turd"! This was quite amusing, however. This has been one of the best weeks of my life! You better not make it too looong because I'm nearing the end of my life. Don't you realize that I'm a geriatric? Love, Mimi

Unknown said...

What a "weenie"!

Hailey said...

Clever...very clever Johnny! You wish it wouldn't happen again for a loooooong time, but we'll see about that. You forget she's my ONLY sister!!!

BBC said...

that was adorable johnny! chelsea will adore reading your post!

Chelsea said...

You're a mean one, Johnny Thack!! You know-to the tune of Mr. Grinch...anyway, very fun to read. You're a real hoot and a holler. I'm glad you pined for us so much while we were away!!!

Katrina said...

You guys are too cute! Chelsea, I hope you had a fun visit with your family and Johnny, I hope you survived the week without your girls okay! :)

Kristy said...

Johnny, you have such a gift for journalism! Just forget about law school; you could make a fortune off your clever writing. Gretel is so adorable; I can see why you would miss that baby. My girls had fun seeing Chels and going to her cookie party. Thanks for sacrificing.

Ryan and Staci said...

Hi Chelsea! Long time no see...I'm not sure how I found your blog really but it looks like you are happy and doing well.
Your daughter is a cutie!
-Staci (Sponbeck) Wallace