HEADLINE NEWS: FATHER MISSES WIFE AND DAUGHTER

Sacramento, CA - Local Father, John Thackeray, reported to the news today that he desperately misses his wife Chelsea and their 5 month little girl - Gretel Emeline. When asked by reporters about the location of his "girls", Mr. Thackeray informed the news that his girls were visiting family in Utah.

However, a more startling revelation is that Mr. Thackeray claims he is a victim of serious fraudulent misconduct which includes the tampering of flight reservations.

Mr. Thackeray reports that the two responsible for his missing family are non other than the dublicitious duo Gramp C ("grampsie") and Grama Mimi a.k.a Barney and Claudia a.k.a the in-outlaws.

"Chels and Gretel were supposed to go to Utah and visit from Saturday to Friday." says, Mr. Thackeray, "I could barely stand to let my little 'gremline' out of my sight for 1 day let alone 7." Mr. Thackeray reports that the night before their flight they were informed that due to "suspect" circumstances, Chelsea and Gretel would instead be flying Friday to the following Saturday, adding on two extra days to their trip. "I was heartbroken when I heard the news", claims a sobbing Mr. Thackeray. "I was tempted not to let my munchkin go."

When asked how he uncovered the fraud behind the reservation transaction, Mr. Thackeray told reporters, "It didn't require a degree in rocket science. I was told that Chels and the babe couldn't fly to Utah on Saturday because it would be too expensive so they would have to fly out instead on Friday. Then they told me that Chels and the babe couldn't fly back home to Sacramento on Friday because it would be too expensive so they would instead have to fly home on Saturday... hmm.. suspicious? I think so!"

Finally when asked if Mr. Thackeray would file charges and bring a suit against the two for their criminal behavior he responded by saying, "No... not in a million years! I am grateful that my little girl has such loving grandparents that really care about her. I know they would do anything for her. Gretel is really lucky to have two great sets of grandparents that really love her." In closing, Mr. Thackeray remarked, "Enjoy it Craiger and Mimi - Because it's not going to happen again for a looooong time!

Gwennie Gumpdrops reporting for the the Gretel Gazette

"KNEE! SHIN! FOOT!...

...GROIN!!" These are just a few of the words screamed by the most recent girl who earned a black belt in karate. That's right, moi!!

So what if the belt was one that I pulled out of my own closet? I feel much more powerful, confident, and capable of taking on this "Chester" that I saw lurking at the gym a couple of weeks ago-if I ever see him again. I'm just being silly; I'm such a weakling!!

Last night we did a self-defense night at a real karate academy for our Young Women's activity, and it was the most fun I've had in a long time! I'm sure the teacher thought I was a real fool! I couldn't stop laughing, especially when the pad I was holding was being pummeled by another YW leader, and I felt like Kip from "Napoleon Dynamite" because I couldn't help but whine, "Ow!" Also, when Shauna was holding me back using a belt wrapped around my stomach, I was supposed to be trying to get away from her and punch the pad in front of me, but I couldn't even move because Shauna was way stronger! The two of us couldn't breathe we were laughing so hard!!!

Later that night, John got home from class and asked how it went. He jokingly grabbed me from behind in a tight hug, and I gave him a swift kick in the shin with the back of my heel! That's right, baby-BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Love,
Our Little Leprechaun!!!

Chelsea and the Chocolate Factory!!

The other night I hosted the most fun party ever! It was a SURPRISE party for our friend Katie-her husband Zack planned everything, and just needed somewhere to have it. He wanted some suggestions on what I thought would be a fun theme. Knowing her passion for anything chocolate, I suggested that, and maybe some karaoke! He really took both ideas seriously, and hired a guy who used to be a radio D.J. to come and bring all his equipment to my house. We had a chocolate fountain with lots of yummy dipping treats, a huge chocolate cake, chocolate soda, & an assortment of candy bars, truffles, etc. I made my mom's famous marshmallow brownies, and I was going to make hot chocolate, but I think we were all a little too hot and sweaty for that, after all of our wild and crazy dancing! So here are some pics of our little chocolate/karaoke/dance clubbing ladies night....

I made these really fun centerpieces for the table-they were so fun to create!

I was glad we all pulled it off! Katie thought I was babysitting her kids while she and Zack went to dinner, so they were dropping them off when we all surprised her! She started off our party by singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!" Some other highlights of the night were Jaycee (both Jaycee and Katie are pregnant which made it even funnier) rockin' out to Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" and Abby and Jessica rapping/booty shaking to "I Like Big Butts." Melissa and I did Salt n' Peppa's "Shoop" and a big group sang "Summer Lovin" from Grease which I heard was the best, but I missed it because I had to take Gretel upstairs to feed her-she was way too into the party and refused to eat amongst the action because she just wanted to watch!! I'm glad she warmed up to the crazy atmosphere fast-here is a picture of her when I'd just brought her downstairs for the first time right after she woke up...

But pretty soon she was one of the girls!

It might've been partly because of all the chocolate I ate, but I couldn't sleep later that night because I was still so hyper! Shauna told me the same thing happened to her; she just laid awake thinking of all the songs she should've done! So we've decided it would be really fun to do it again, and we've already come up with a long list of future songs that we think would be hilarious!!

A few girls had already left before we took this group picture; sorry!

(sing along now....) "Yes it's ladies night, and the feelin's right-oh yes it's ladies night, oh what a OH WHAT A NIGHT!!!

Also, thanks for visiting us recently, Grandma Cheryl! We had a blast as always....

Gretel Gumdrops is five months today! I can't believe it!!

"The Fires of Love!"

We quote that line (from the Jim Carrey version of "The Grinch...") quite often in our fam! Anyway, before I put away my Valentines this year, I thought I should share the one Johnny wrote me this year, because I think it's so hilarious:

A Poem by Johnny

Valentines is here again and I want

to make something quite

"CLEAR"

These cards, although fun, are increasingly

harder to do with each passing

"YEAR"

So please be kind to my rhymes

and avoid any temptation to

"SNEER"

My heart would just break over the

slightest hint of a

"JEER"

Because I can't help the fact that my

love for you makes me think of words

that are both cheesy and

"QUEER"

But the truth is that you bring magic into my life

A magic that could make a wolf

"WERE"

Without you I would be lost for example

on trips you always bring the right

"GEAR"

And when you're around we are never lacking

on any holiday

"CHEER"

The sound of your voice is like a

sweet symphony to my

"EAR"

My heart just breaks whenever I know that

you won't be anywhere

"NEAR"

The last time you were away my eyes were

unable to hold back the

"TEAR"

Without your good influence in my life I

might be more familiar with the taste of

"BEER"

But instead toward the direction of virtue

you have always helped me to

"STEER"

Would it ruin the sentiment at this point

by saying that you have a nice

"REAR"

I know you will support me no

matter what I choose for a

"CAREER"

And that love and support makes it a

pleasure to have you

"HERE"

And so Again I say to you

My soulmate, my love, my life, my

"DEAR"

I Love You

Isn't he so clever and romantic? While I'm at it, I'll type the poem that I wrote him last year for Valentine's Day to tell him that I was pregnant:

What's this you ask?

Valentine poem part two,

Your poems are so wonderful,

I'm just trying to keep up with you!

So I have to tell you something exciting and new,

We're having a baby-yes, yes it's true!!

So, you're wondering, who knew?

The two-lined tinkle stick, that's who!

Then I was starving, so downstairs I flew

To the honey-nut cheerios for my mouth to chew

After all, I'm eating for two...

I know we're so thrilled we don't know what to do,

And my little cheeks are glowing,

So you can pinch their rosy hue!

You'll be the best dad; saying "ga-goo"

And I'll be saying "coochie-coo!"

We'll both get very good at cleaning up poo

And you're already so great at playing peek-a-boo!

We'll read books with animal noises like "moo"

And have fun fieldtrips to the zoo

We'll help to tie miniature shoes

Oh I can hardly wait, can you?